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| Another Wedding to Remember - Trevor & Maria's Big Day - #1 | |
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8/08/08 - Lagos, Nigeria We attend the Traditional Engagement/Wedding ceremony for Trevor & Maria |
(Shutterfly photo album - Nigeria-traditional wedding!) |
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On Friday morning, we awoke to the sound of rainwater rushing in torrents out of the gutter outside our room at the Eko Hotel. "Oh, no," we thought, "it's going to be pouring rain on Trevor and Maria's wedding day!" We looked down the street from above, only to see women, heads loaded with goods, wading through the flooded street up to their knees in water and okadas, the ubiquitous motorcycle taxis of Lagos, driving slowly down the street in water half way up their tires, the drivers with their pants rolled almost to the knee in an attempt to keep them dry. Despite the rain, we got up and prepared for the day, donning our Nigerian outfits custom-made specifically to be worn today - 2-piece outfits in a beautiful indigo blue color, accented with a light blue star pattern woven into the fabric - as previously instructed by the bride. With all this rain, Caroline thought to herself that luckily, it didn't matter what her hair looked like, since her head would eventually be covered with her gold gele, or traditional Nigerian headwrap. Now there's a good idea! Attired in our special wedding clothes, we walked to the breakfast buffet (another $70 down the drain!) in the main building, trying to keep our dress shoes/sandals somewhat dry and mud-free (we were not very successful). At breakfast, we met up with Trevor's parents, Sally and Dennis, who informed us that the ceremony would be delayed due to the rain, and so we would not be picked up by the family's driver in the van at 11 am, as previously arranged. However, Trevor's brother Brandon had recently received a cryptic message that we all needed to pack up our things and vacate our rooms, leaving our bags with the Concierge at the main building. In true Nigerian fashion, there was no word on where, exactly, we were going to be relocated to. Being the world travelers that they are, Scott and Caroline took it in stride; we packed our bags and sat with them in the main lobby awaiting further instruction, our hands turning more and more blue from the dye used on our clothes, with each tug of our clothing. The plan changed again and we were instructed to bring our bags up to Trevor's room, as the Concierge had no room for them. Having taken care of this detail, we returned downstairs to wait for the van in the pleasant, breezy open-air lobby. At John & Quincy's home on Bank Road, the gateman opened the heavy gate for the van. Once inside the compound, we exited the van and rushed into the chaos that was the house. There were people everywhere, most already dressed for the festivities of the day, in indigo and light blue stars, the women wearing their elaborate gold geles on their heads, as is the custom. Sally and Caroline, the only American women in the party, were ushered upstairs, and after some confusion, were taken to a room of their own, where Sally was helped to dress in her complicated, wrapped outfit, and the professional 'gele girl' (Caroline imagines that she has a more professional sounding title, of which Caroline is not aware) hired by Maria's family wrapped Caroline's head and middle in the stiff gold fabric proscribed for the day. The Engagement ceremony took place inside a large white tent of the type that an American event might use. Upon our arrival at the tent, the ceremony was ready to begin. There were many, long, rectangular tables set up, at which guests were already seated, although many people were casually milling about as well. The native music began, and as honored members of the groom's 'family', we wove our way, dancing and moving to the music, through the tables, drummers, guests and press photographers. It was pure chaos!!!!! There was an estimated 700 guests at this event, which meant 1,400 eyes all on the painful sight of awkwardly dancing white people, dancing while digging in their pockets to find money to hand out. The day we arrived in Nigeria, we had been told by the groom's family's representative, whose job it was to guide us, as clueless foreigners, through the ceremony, that we would be required to show our respect and offer our appreciation, in the form of cash, by throwing Nigerian Naira notes into various bowls, periodically, throughout the ceremony. This apparently is standard procedure and it is customary to use very small notes, so as to look very generous by throwing lots of bills into the bowls. Nigerians typically use notes that are the equivalent of anywhere from about 20 cents to $2 USD. Unfortunately, we had no option but to change our money at the hotel and it was difficult, if not impossible to get anything smaller than 500 Naira notes, which is worth almost $5 USD, so we had no choice but to throw $5 and $10 at a time! Consequently, this portion of the ceremony proved to be rather stressful for the American contingent, since we were all worried that we would run out of money, not knowing just how long this thing would last! Finally, it was time to take our seats, located directly behind the plush, burgundy sofa on which Sally and Dennis, looking the part in all their wedding finery, were seated. What a relief! As the ceremony continued, in a lengthy and confusing string of speeches and songs, from Yoruba to James Brown and the Beatles, by the female officiant, guests seated at the long tables were being served drinks and food and many people were simply wandering around and chatting with one another - very foreign and confusing behavior to American wedding guests! At one point about 2 hours into the ceremony, Trevor entered and prostrated (lay on the ground in front of) for various people, including Maria's parents and grandparents and then sat upon a couch on a platform at the front of the room (tent). The male members of Trevor's wedding party, both Americans and rentals, prostrated. Eventually, the bride entered, shrouded beneath a large cloth and flanked by beautifully dressed attendants, all in custom-designed indigo and stars outfits and gold geles. Maria kneeled in front of various important people, including her grandparents and Trevor's parents and went to sit on the platform with Trevor. They kissed, cut the cake and were pronounced married (not necessarily in that order; I mean, who can remember amidst all the confusion and chaos!). Meanwhile, from our seats on the ground level, we saw little more than the backs of all the paparazzi jockeying for position with their cameras, clamoring for the best shots. All during the ceremony, photographers were constantly taking photos of us, too. And who could blame them; I mean, who wouldn't want pictures of Americans awkwardly wearing Nigerian wedding-wear?! Following the official ceremony, the band played, guests drank Star beer and large glasses of Bailey's on ice, and the dancing and spraying of money was in full-swing. For those of you not familiar with the concept of "spraying" (i.e. everyone who is not Nigerian), allow us to explain. First of all, during the ceremony, people are frequently dancing along to the drummers. Dancing and drums seem popular in Africa - who'd have guessed?! Anyway, while certain people are dancing, you pay them respect by pressing Naira bills against them and letting them fall to the floor, where they either pick them up or assigned "spray-collectors" (our term) will grab the bills for the sprayee and stuff them in a bag. This process occurs pretty much at all times while there is dancing going on - during the traditional wedding and at the following day's reception. When it comes to Nigerian celebrations, it's all about the Naira, baby!
We're all one big family now! |
Maria
pays her respects to her new parents, as the paparazzi snap away
Trevor, chilling with his new parents, John & Quincy
The Wedding Guests
The view from outside the tent - the muddy aftermath of the rain
After changing into post-ceremony outfits, Trevor cuts a rug
while Maria gets sprayed
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